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Author Topic: Classic joke thread...  (Read 1363947 times)

tombogan03884

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4480 on: January 07, 2013, 08:18:45 AM »
Quote from: sledgemeister on January 07, 2013, 03:29:58 AM
A South African policeman spots a black guy dancing on the roof of a car.

He radios for backup, saying... "I've got a darkie dancing on a Volkswagen."

"You can't say that over the radio." replies the operator

"You have to use politically correct terminology."

"OK" he says "Zulu.... Tango.... Golf...."

I got it.
Not sure everyone will though .  ;D
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1Buckshot

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4481 on: January 07, 2013, 11:13:30 AM »
I got it.   


  Zulu------Tango------Golf
Black guy- Dancing the Tango- On a Volkswagen Golf


Bad Just Bad  ::) ;D
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PegLeg45

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4482 on: January 07, 2013, 12:55:52 PM »
Quote from: 1Buckshot on January 07, 2013, 11:13:30 AM

Bad Just Bad  ::) ;D

The joke or the dancing?





 ;D
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"I expect perdition, I always have. I keep this building at my back, and several guns handy, in case perdition arrives in a form that's susceptible to bullets. I expect it will come in the disease form, though. I'm susceptible to diseases, and you can't shoot a damned disease." ~ Judge Roy Bean, Streets of Laredo

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tombogan03884

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4483 on: January 07, 2013, 01:01:50 PM »
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Solus

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4484 on: January 07, 2013, 01:03:39 PM »
I guess if he had been drinking and had different tastes in dancing, it would have been...


Whiskey...  Zulu  .....    Foxtrot  ....   Golf ....
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Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!"
—Patrick Henry

"Good intentions will always be pleaded for every assumption of authority. It is hardly too strong to say that the Constitution was made to guard the people against the dangers of good intentions. There are men in all ages who mean to govern well, but they mean to govern. They promise to be good masters, but they mean to be masters."
— Daniel Webster

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4485 on: Today at 08:13:09 AM »
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1Buckshot

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4485 on: January 07, 2013, 04:00:49 PM »
Now it's just sounding like pilot talk to me. ;)
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Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4486 on: January 07, 2013, 08:53:22 PM »
 A teacher asks each of the kids in class what they need at home.
 
Joey says "A computer." The teacher replies, "That would be very useful."
 
Kimmy says "A new lawn mower," and gets a similar response.
 
Little Johnny pops up and says, "At my house we don't need anything!"
 
The teacher asks him to think again carefully, as everybody needs something.
 
Little Johnny replies, "No I'm sure. When Obama was re-elected, I remember my dad saying, “Well, that's the last f***ing thing we needed.”
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

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tombogan03884

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4487 on: January 09, 2013, 07:17:32 PM »


A reporter asks Bill Clinton, "How's Hillary's head?"

Bill replied, "Well, she's no Monica."
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billt

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4488 on: January 10, 2013, 04:59:19 AM »
Tim decided to tie the
knot with
his long time girlfriend.

One evening, after the
honeymoon,
he was assembling some loads for an upcoming
hunt.

His wife was standing there at the bench watching him. After along period
of silence she finally speaks. "Honey, I've been thinking, now
that we are married I think it's time you quit hunting, shooting,
handloading, and fishing. Maybe you should sell your guns and
boat."

Tim gets this

horrified look on his face.

She says,
"Darling, what's wrong?"

”There for a
minute you were sounding like my
ex-wife.”

"Ex wife!"
she
screams, "I didn't know you were married
before!"

”I
wasn't!“
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Majer

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4489 on: January 10, 2013, 12:52:16 PM »
A Navy Destroyer stops four Muslims in a row boat, rowing towards England . "The captain gets on the loud haler and shouts
"Ahoy, small craft, where are you heading?"
One of the Muslims stands up and shouts,
"We are invading the UK!"
The crew of the Destroyer all start laughing and when the captain finally stops laughing, he gets back on the loud haler and says
"Just the four of you?"
The Muslim stands up again and shouts,
"No, we're the last four. The rest are already there!"
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"If violent crime is to be curbed, it is only the intended victim who can do it. The felon does not fear the police, and he fears neither judge nor jury. Therefore what he must be taught to fear is his victim." - Jeff Cooper
Pericles--"Freedom is only for those who have the guts to defend it".

The problem with society today is that not enough of us drink wine from our enemies skulls”.

It takes 43 muscles to frown, 17 to smile, and 3 for proper trigger squeeze.

Gun control is like trying to reduce drunk driving by making it tougher for sober people to own cars!!!
-Sheriff Jim Wilson
"When tyranny becomes law rebellion becomes duty" Thomas Jefferson
Es gibt keine Notwendigkeit zu befürchten, Underdog hier ist.
Great nations rise and fall. The people go from bondage to spiritual truth, to great courage, from courage to liberty, from liberty to abundance, from abundance to selfishness, from selfishness to complacency, from complacency to apathy, from apathy to dependence, from dependence back again to bondage. Where are we now??????
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