Author Topic: Classic joke thread...  (Read 1357551 times)

tombogan03884

  • Guest
Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4870 on: September 22, 2015, 06:00:06 AM »
I bet they have a lube for that .
Braggart  😁

Big Frank

  • NRA Benefactor Member
  • Top Forum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 9463
  • DRTV Ranger
  • Liked:
  • Likes Given: 1048
Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4871 on: September 22, 2015, 06:46:53 PM »

" Last Saturday afternoon, in Washington, D.C, an aide to Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi visited the Cardinal of the Catholic cathedral in D.C. He told the Cardinal that Nancy Pelosi would be attending the next day's Mass, and he asked if the Cardinal would kindly point out Pelosi to the congregation and say a few words that would include calling Pelosi a saint.
The Cardinal replied, "No. I don't really like the woman, and there are issues of conflict with the Catholic Church over certain Pelosi's views.
Pelosi's aide then said, "Look, I'll write a check here and now for a donation of $10,000 to your church if you'll just tell the congregation you see Pelosi as a saint."
The Cardinal thought about it and said, "Well, the church can use the money, so I'll work your request into tomorrow's sermon."
As Pelosi's aide promised, Pelosi appeared for the Sunday worship and seated herself prominently at the forward left side of the center aisle. As promised, at the start of his sermon, the Cardinal pointed out that Pelosi was present.
The Cardinal went on to explain to the congregation, "While Congresswoman Pelosi's presence is probably an honor to some, the woman is not numbered among my personal favorite personages. Some of her views are contrary to tenets of the Church, and she tends to flip-flop on many other issues. Nancy Pelosi is a petty, self-absorbed hypocrite, a thumb sucker and a nit-wit. Nancy Pelosi is also a serial liar, a cheat, and a thief. I must say, Nancy Pelosi is the worst example of a Catholic I have ever personally witnessed. She married for money and is using her wealth to lie to the American people. She also has a reputation for shirking her Representative obligations both In Washington and in California. The woman is simply not to be trusted."

The Cardinal concluded, "But, when compared with President Obama, Pelosi is a saint."
""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Rastus

  • Mindlessness Fuels Tyranny
  • Top Forum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6769
  • DRTV Ranger
  • Liked:
  • Likes Given: 563
Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4872 on: September 23, 2015, 06:02:14 AM »
That would be funny if the pope thought that.....

I suspect he considers Obamanation the more saintly of the two....
Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom.
It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves.
-William Pitt, British Prime-Minister (1759-1806)
                                                                                                                               Avoid subjugation, join the NRA!

tombogan03884

  • Guest
Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4873 on: September 23, 2015, 06:05:44 AM »
This pos so called Pope is nothing but one of those "liberation theologists" that South American dictators should have shot more of.

Big Frank

  • NRA Benefactor Member
  • Top Forum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 9463
  • DRTV Ranger
  • Liked:
  • Likes Given: 1048
Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4874 on: September 23, 2015, 01:38:30 PM »
Black Sabbath asked would you like to see the pope on the end of a rope? It wouldn't affect me at all.
""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Sponsor

  • Guest
Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4875 on: Today at 03:01:05 AM »

tt11758

  • Noolis bastardis carborundum (Don't let the bastards wear you down)
  • Top Forum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5821
  • DRTV Ranger ~
    • 10-Ring Firearms Training
  • Liked:
  • Likes Given: 7
Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4875 on: September 23, 2015, 09:04:50 PM »
As a Catholic, I'm offended by something this pope said a few weeks ago.  Apparently, according to him, I'm not a Christian, since I'm involved in the gun business.  As a result, the church will be getting no more of my money, since I'm sure he'd be offended accepting "gun money".
I love waking up every morning knowing that Donald Trump is President!!

Big Frank

  • NRA Benefactor Member
  • Top Forum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 9463
  • DRTV Ranger
  • Liked:
  • Likes Given: 1048
Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4876 on: September 29, 2015, 09:19:02 AM »
The pope is still in the news.
""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

TAB

  • DRTV Rangers
  • Top Forum Member
  • *
  • Posts: 9964
  • Liked:
  • Likes Given: 92
Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4877 on: September 30, 2015, 08:29:08 PM »
I always break all the clay pigeons,  some times its even with lead.

billt

  • Top Forum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6760
  • Liked:
  • Likes Given: 454
Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4878 on: October 25, 2015, 07:59:25 AM »
Back on January 9th, a group of Wadesboro, North Carolina bikers were riding east on Hwy.74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Pee Dee River Bridge. So they stopped.

George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says,
"Hey Baby . . . whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"

She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"

While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked . . . "Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe . . .
why don't you give ol' George here your best last kiss?"

So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that . . .
and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.

After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had! That's a real talent you're wasting there, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."

It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.

Jim Kennedy-ar154me

  • Top Forum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 965
  • NRA Life Member
  • Liked:
  • Likes Given: 1404
Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4879 on: October 27, 2015, 11:21:07 AM »
If I can get the tears out of my eyes (from laughing)  I would comment that the joke is NOT politically correct.

I LIKE IT.
The time for action is upon us and the enemy is at our gates. Let us not allow them one more inch of advancement but instead throw them through the gates of Hell.

 

SMF spam blocked by CleanTalk